Unexpectedly Amazing (My dinner encounter with Hillary Clinton)

Late last Friday, as I was parking our car in the basement of a nearby mall, about to brave the hazards of shoe shopping with young children on a Friday afternoon, I got a call from Bundit. “I got a fax from the Prime Minister’s office,” he laughed with a hint of incredulity in his voice. “They are inviting us to a dinner on Sunday for Barack Obama.”

Yes, was all I said in reply. Go.

Bundit was hesitant, but I said I was going, with or without him. In the end, after some prodding from me and another call from the PM’s office, he relented and said he would attend.

And boy was he glad he did. We met Hillary!

The definitive highlight of our evening was being introduced to Hillary Clinton and discovering that even when completely exhausted she could be warm, charming, and empathetic. No doubt these abilities account for her success as a politician, and they are impressive.

Imagine - you have just gotten off a plane after having flown (literally) to the other side of the world. As you get off the plane your hair, wardrobe, makeup and jewelry are immediately criticized and analyzed. You are taken directly to a holy site with immense symbolic meaning for its host country where your every move as you sight-see is scrutinized. Then you hold meetings with your counterparts in that nation, discussing matters of great importance to you and to them. You hold a press conference, where once again your every move is dissected. Then you have to go to a formal dinner, where all the guests are watching every smile, every turn of the head for hidden meaning, snapping pics endlessly on their smartphones. And you know your evening won’t be over when the dinner ends! Then you have to go and greet a gymnasium full of embassy employees and their families. And every step of the way you have to be warm, charming and empathetic.

I couldn’t do it. But she did. And she does. All the time. Respect.

We spoke with her for all of 30 seconds, but it was enough to be very impressed. We were introduced by the Thai Deputy Prime Minister and Secretary of Commerce, Mr. Kittirat Na Ranong, who happens to be an old acquaintance of ours. He must have told her something of Bundit during dinner, as she had a light of recognition in her eyes when Mr. Kittirat introduced us. We shook her hand, and Bundit told her how I had complimented her appearance when she walked into dinner (I really had, I thought she looked very nice). She laughed and told us that she was completely exhausted. She suggested taking a picture which her aides did for us and then was whisked away to take pictures with the President up on the stage.

Wow.

But the evening’s surprises didn’t end there! There was so much more.

As Bundit and I discussed later, our three major concerns with attending VIP functions like this are as follows:

I hate getting dressed for parties, so we have to document the experience...

1. Formality. I have never been very comfortable at cocktail parties, formal dinners, or fancy social gatherings (the exception being any event hosted at Bangkok’s Oriental Hotel. Their food is fantastic!). I prefer to stay home with the kids, reading, watching movies or going swimming. Add to that the fact that functions honoring important people can be as stiff and dull as a plank of wood. I get so worried about offending protocol that I’m scared to say anything or even look at anyone, the result being a deathly dull dinner experience that is compounded by a never-ending stream of courses. Apparently, the more important the VIP, the greater the number of courses. We attended one dinner once that had no fewer than eight courses, and went on for hours and hours, slowly killing my will to live as each second ticked by. Under the pretext of going to the bathroom, Bundit slipped our first, and I followed, claiming I needed to make a phone call. Then we escaped out the back.

But we were delighted with our experience at government house on Sunday night. While there was certainly a sense of seriousness, all the guests nonetheless seemed genuinely excited to be there. Chit-chat among groups around the room as we entered was flourishing and once we sat down to dinner the conversation at our table never suffered from the strain or awkward pauses that frequently punctuate such occasions. We met interesting people who had interesting things to say. Our table included the head of the Thailand Tourism Authority, the CEO of GM Thailand, Executive Director of USAID in Thailand, and an American entrepreneur who runs a medical devices company and is a board member of AmCham, among others. Bundit had a great time sharing Wagner jokes (German music humor) with the gentleman seated next to him (as Viktor Borge used to say, laughter is the shortest distance between two people).

Nearly everyone had their cell phones and were snapping pictures of the head table where Obama and PM Yingluck were chatting animatedly. One of our tablemates was micro-blogging the whole event on FB, and I kept one eye on my Twitter feed where my picture of the menu was widely retweeted (I know, right? The menu? Who knew?)

The Menu...                                                   My place setting

Formal schmormal. People were there to enjoy themselves. Even Obama and Yingluck seemed very relaxed during dinner, while Hillary bobbed her head to the Thai music with gusto. And guess what? The Oriental Hotel provided the food that evening. Win.

My view of the head table...

2. Security. We have attended events where the guests have been told to arrive two hours in advance for the security of the VIPs. Two hours! Just the threat of waiting around for hours and hours has been enough to keep me from attending several special events.

But this time, our invitation said the event would start at 7:15 and that we didn’t need to be early. We arrived at 7:15, and were asked by the secret service to wait outside the metal detectors for just a few short minutes before we were ushered directly into the dining hall where most everyone else was already waiting. The President and PM were holding a press conference in the next room, and as soon as they finished, around 8pm, the dinner would begin. And it all started on time! Impressive. Equally impressive were the secret service agents. They were all exceptionally polite and discrete. Bundit got up halfway through dinner to walk over to my side of the table and one of them started walking towards us - I thought maybe he was going to wrestle Bundit back into his chair - but he walked right past and left Bundit alone. Whew.

3. Entertainment. It seems that the speakers at many restaurants and events in Bangkok only have one volume: ear-splittingly loud. It doesn’t matter the occasion, I come away with my ears ringing, shouting at Bundit that he needs to speak up. Not the case this evening. The entertainment was tastefully chosen and well-performed at a very reasonable volume. There were little hip-hop dancers, three different singers, a jazz combo, several groups of Thai dancers, and an American family who appeared to have moved to Thailand and “gone native.” They performed a Thai song and dance number that was quite charming.

One of the Thai dance numbers...

Commerce Minister Kittirat and Khun Suthichai 

We were among the last to leave that evening. Once the US motorcade had departed with Obama and Hillary, we were introduced to PM Yingluck, who was very relaxed and sweet - she told us how nervous she had been while giving her toast in English (she did an excellent job). We chatted with old acquaintances and new friends, and enjoyed ourselves completely.

My thanks to PM Yingluck’s office for thinking of us, and making our fantastic evening possible! They threw together an outstanding event in a very short amount of time. Thanks to our lovely table-mates, to the dining staff and the chefs, to the security personnel and the performers. You turned this wallflower into a social butterfly, at least for one evening...

HOW TO SING LIKE A PRO: Just Breathe

This sounds painfully obvious, but you absolutely must breathe while singing.  Properly.  The truth is, breathing incorrectly is the most common mistake most singers make. 

When I was 19, the group I was singing with decided to invest in some singing lessons.  We went to the top vocal coach at the local university and took a series of group and private lessons.  Much to my chagrin, during my private lesson, the first thing the teacher told me was that I was breathing backwards.  I thought I was such a great singer, and yet I was breathing wrong?  How could that be?

Over the years, I had developed the bad habit of using my chest and shoulders to inhale.  I was contracting my diaphragm and expanding my chest when inhaling, which is precisely the opposite of the natural and correct way to breathe.

The teacher explained that it was actually quite a common error, but that with some practice I could retrain my muscles to breathe in the natural and correct way.  He suggested watching the way babies breathe while they sleep.  Their abdomens rise and fall, not their chest or shoulders. 

I had to re-learn how to breathe!  I concentrated on expanding my diaphragm down and keeping my shoulders relaxed and level with each inhale.  During each exhale I would contract my diaphragm and keep my chest and shoulders relaxed.  While it was difficult and unnatural at first, I kept at it and very soon it became second nature. I could hold phrases longer without needing a breath and I could sing for longer periods without getting tired.

Frank Sinatra is an example of a singer who understood how to make the most of breathing and breath control. He found that the longer he could go without taking a breath the more natural his singing would become.  He took up jogging and swimming laps underwater to increase his lung capacity.  Even today, Sinatra is revered for his long, beautifully shaped and nuanced phrases, all fashioned with a single breath.

So, stay calm and keep breathing. Next post will review the basics...

คุณต้องหายใจขณะร้องเพลง และอย่างถูกต้องด้วย นี่ก็ฟังดูปกติ แต่แมรี่ย้ำว่า ความจริงคือ การหายใจที่ถูกวิธีมักจะเป็นสิ่งแรกๆที่นักร้องไม่ทำ  

ตอนแมรี่อายุ 19 วงอาชีพที่แมรี่ร้องเพลงด้วยตัดสินใจจะลงทุนเรียนร้องเพลง with a good teacher เราเลยไปหาผู้ฝึกสอนร้องเพลงระดับแนวหน้าที่มหาวิทยาลัยท้องถิ่นและลงเรียนในทั้งแบบกลุ่มและแบบเดี่ยว สิ่งที่ทำให้แมรี่รู้สึกผิดหวัง (จริงๆแล้วมันคือเสียเซลฟ์;ผู้แปล)มากก็คือสิ่งแรกที่อาจารย์แมรี่บอกว่าแมรี่กำลังหายใจถอยหลัง

ตอนนั้นแมรี่คิดว่าตนเองเป้นนักร้องที่เก่งเสียเหลือเกิน แล้วนี่แมรี่หายใจผิดวิธี มันเกิดขึ้นได้อย่างไร

ตลอดเวลาหลายปี แมรี่ก็เริ่มมีพฤติกรรมที่ไม่ดีมากขึ้นเกี่ยวกับการใช้อกและไหล่ช่วยในการหายใจเข้า กระบังลมของแมรี่หดลงในขณะที่ช่องอกขยายขณะหายใจเข้า ซึ่งเห็นได้ชัดว่าผิดธรรมชาติและผิดวิธี

อาจารย์อธิบายว่า มันเป็นข้อผิดพลาดที่ค่อนข้างพบได้บ่อย แต่หลังจากการฝึกแมรี่สมารถฝึกกล้ามเนื้อของตนเองใหม่ให้หายใจเป็นธรรมชาติและถูกวิธี อาจารย์แนะนำให้สังเกตเวลาเด็กทารกหายใจขณะนอนหลับซึ่งช่องท้องจะพองและยุบไม่ใช่ช่องอกหรือไหล่

แมรี่เลยได้เรียนวิธีหายใจใหม่ แมรี่เพ่งความสนใจไปกับการขยายกระบังลมและพยายามผ่อนคลายไหล่และรักษาระดับในขณะหายใจเข้าแต่ละครั้ง ระหว่างการหายใจออกก็พยายามให้กระบังลมหดลงและผ่อนคลายช่องอกกับไหล่ ในตอนแรกๆมันยากและฝืนธรรมชาติ แมรี่พยายามทำมันจนกระทั่งมันกลายเป็นพฤติกรรมโดยธรรมชาติของแมรี่ แมรี่พบว่าเมื่อการหายใจอย่างถูกวิธีกลายเป้นเรื่องง่าย แมรี่สามารถร้องได้ประโยคยาวขึ้นโดยไม่ต้องหายใจและร้องเพลงได้นานกว่าเดิมโดยไม่รู้สึกเหนื่อย

Frank Sinatra เป็นตัวอย่างของนักร้องที่มีความเข้าใจเรื่องการหายใจอย่างมีประสิทธิภาพและการควบคุมการหายใจ  เขาได้พบว่ายิ่งรักษาลมหายใจไว้ได้นานโดยไม่ต้องหายใจใหม่อีกได้นานเท่าไรก็ยิ่งทำให้การร้องเพลงออกมาเป้นธรรมชาติมากเท่านั้น เขาเลยจ็อกกิ้ง ว่ายน้ำ ม้วนตัวใต้น้ำเพื่อเพิ่มความสามารถของปอด กระทั่งทุกวันนี้ Sinatra ยังเป็นที่กล่าวขวัญถึงในเรื่องของประโยคเพลงที่ยาว มีความสวยงามสม่ำเสมเขาอ ทั้งหมดนี้เกิดขึ้นในลมหายใจเดียว

ดังนั้น เรียนรู้ที่จะหายใจให้ถูกวิธีเถิด 

HOW TO SING LIKE A PRO: Use Your Ears

Singing is as much about listening as it is about making sound. Your ears and your voice work together to produce great singing. The better you can hear, the better you can sing.

Lots of people claim that they can’t sing because they are tone-deaf. The truth is, almost no one is truly tone-deaf. The vast majority of people are masters at recognizing pitch.  Think about how you communicate questions, anger, joy, skepticism and even sarcasm in your daily speech. And consider how you recognize those qualities in the speech of others. The sound of someone’s voice often tells you more about what they mean than their words do. If you can tell over the phone that your friend is mad at you, even though she claims to be fine, you can hear more than well enough to sing.

Developing good pitch is just a matter of training your ears to hear musical pitch as well as you hear verbal pitch.

Here are some simple ways to get started. 

1. Relax. Singing should be fun, not stress you out. Let your voice come out naturally. Don't force anything.
2. Practice singing 5-note scales (Do-Re-Mi-Fa-Sol). Focus on singing each pitch exactly in the center every time.  Practice with a piano if you like. Match your voice to the pitch of the piano as closely as you can. When you have mastered 5-note scales, try something a little more difficult, like arpeggios (Do-Mi-Sol-Mi-Do).
3. Sing along with recordings.  Trying to perfectly match the pitch of your favorite singers on recordings can help you develop both your ear and your singing voice.  You have to listen, adjust and sing all at the same time.   It’s great exercise for your voice.  Just be sure to choose songs within your range. And choose singers that have good pitch themselves - no screamers, please. 
4. Try singing harmony parts along with recordings.  I love doing this.  It is a great way to practice both pitch and voice control. Back in high school I remember one occasion when I was working on an art project with friends. We had music playing in the background as each of us worked on our own section. I was hard at work, concentrating on the artwork in front of me. Without even realizing it, I started singing harmony with the CD just out of habit.  My friends looked at me like I was insane.  It was a little embarrassing, but at least the harmony part I sang was in tune. Mostly.
5. Learn your intervals. This is a more advanced skill. Intervals are defined as the distance between two notes. Knowing your intervals and being able to both sing and identify them will help you develop good relative pitch, and will make you a better overall musician. The intervals to learn are listed below, paired with a familiar song:

1. Minor Second - Beethoven’s Fur Elise 
2. Major Second - Happy Birthday
3. Minor Third - Brahms’ Lullaby
4. Major Third - Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony (opening notes)
5. Perfect Fourth - Wagner's Wedding March (Here comes the bride...)
6. Diminished Fifth (or augmented fourth, sometimes called a tritone) - Maria from West Side Story
7. Perfect Fifth - ABC song
8. Minor Sixth - We Are Young by Fun (...set the world on fire, we can go higher...)
9. Major Sixth - NBC theme (N-B-C)
10. Minor Seventh - Somewhere from West Side Story (There’s a place for us...)
11. Major Seventh - Don’t Know Why by Norah Jones (I wait-ed ‘til I saw the sun...)
12. Octave - Somewhere Over the Rainbow

There are lots of resources online that can help you train your ears (just do a search for "ear training" and you'll get millions of hits). But you don't have to do anything complicated. Just listen to lots of good music, and sing along!

HOW TO SING LIKE A PRO: Listen, Part One

LISTEN TO YOURSELF WHILE SINGING

Duh, you are probably thinking.

This may seem obvious and easy, but actually it is harder than it sounds. Just ask anyone who has had to listen to their own karaoke performance.

To me, pitch is the most important part of singing.  Bad pitch ruins a performance faster than anything else.  Train yourself to actually hear your voice while you are singing.  If you can hear, you can tune, and if you can tune then you can sing in the correct pitch.

There are tons of things to concentrate on while performing. Listening to yourself and being able to adjust your pitch as necessary should be a top priority. 

This is one reason why so many people like to sing in the shower. Bathrooms are full of tile, which sends the sound bouncing around like mad. You hear yourself good and loud, which can make anyone feel like they are Pavarotti.  Hearing yourself clearly boosts your confidence which just improves your voice even more.  It is a joy to sing a song you love and hear your own voice sounding great.

When I was in college and singing with an a cappella group I knew a lot of singers (including me) who liked to practice in stairwells.  Their voices would echo in the enclosed space, and they could hear themselves very well. Plus they liked showing off (including me).

I am a fan of singing in the shower, singing in stairwells, singing with microphones – anything that will allow you to hear your voice loud and clear.  For one, it is less tiring.  If you can hear your own voice clearly, you will be less likely to strain your voice by oversinging.  Find a place to practice where you can hear yourself easily, and you will not only enjoy your singing more, you will also protect your voice from strain. 

Train your ears to hear pitch, and develop good relative pitch.  This means that when you are given a reference note you can identify the correct pitch of any other note given to you.  Good relative pitch provides an excellent foundation for singing with good pitch, and it will help you not only develop your singing but your overall musicianship.

Some people have absolute pitch, meaning they can correctly identify notes even without being given a reference pitch. It’s a neat trick and useful as a musician, but unnecessary. 

If you don’t have good pitch, don’t get discouraged.  It takes time to develop.  For some people it comes naturally, and for others it takes a lot of training.  Relax, and go at your own pace.  You don’t have to develop good pitch overnight.

Next post will give you some ideas for what you can do to improve your ears and your relative pitch.

อ่านเอาเรื่อง

เมื่อวันก่อนแมรี่ถูกเชิญออกรายการ "อ่านเอาเรื่อง" พิธิกรทั้งคู่น่ารักมากและคุยสนุกดี

ทางรายการมาถ่ายบรรยากาศที่บ้านด้วย

ลูกๆ แบ่งปันหนังสือที่เขาชอบเป็นพิเศษ

ดูรายการได้ในวันที่ 1 ม.ย. 2555 16:00น. ช่อง 9 ค่ะ

ของเยอะคือภาระ Too Much Stuff!

I don't enjoy having a lot of stuff. I learned while traveling around the world with my husband and a young baby, living out of suitcases and moving from apartment to apartment every few weeks that having a lot of stuff is really just a burden. An entire chapter in my book is devoted to this concept.

แมรี่ไม่อยากมีของเยอะค่ะ เมื่อลูกคนโตอย่างเล็กๆ ครอบครัวเราเดินทางทั่วโลกชีวิคอยู่ในกระเป๋าและต้องย้ายที่พักทุกสองหรือสามอาทิตย์ แมรี่ได้เริ่มมีความเข้าใจว่าการมีของเยอะคือภาระจริงๆ ทั้งบทหนึ่งในหนังสือที่แมรี่เขียนได้พูดถึงปรัชญาข้อนี้

So when I saw my children's bedroom over the Songkran holiday, I knew it was time for a good purge. They just had too much stuff!

พอไปดูสภาพห้องนอนของลูกๆ 3 คนในช่วงสงกรานต์ แมรี่ก็เห็นอย่างชัดเจนว่ามันถึงเวลาต้องกวาดล้างห้องเขาแล้วแพราะว่ามีของเยอะเกินไป

I haven't personally cleaned and organized my children's room in a long time. It's been a busy time and I have been relying on them to put away their own toys. As a result their room began to accumulate a lot of junk - old art projects, broken toys, toys they had outgrown, filled notebooks, even a creature or two (really! I opened a drawer and a live moth flew out!)

It took me nearly 3 days of sneaking in an hour or two of work while the baby was napping, but I finally did it! I filled two big bags of broken items and just trash. My girls and I also cleared out 3 more large bags of toys to pass on to other children.

I love the feeling of getting rid of stuff! It is liberating.

And now my children have an organized room. They are enjoying their clean room even more than I am. Once we cleaned out all the garbage and unneeded items they were able to rediscover toys they loved but hadn't played with in awhile, because they could never find them!

We'll see how long it lasts. In another few months it may be time for another good purge...

เค้กวันเกิด Birthday Cakes!

แมรี่ไม่ได้เป็นคนที่ทำกับข้าวเก่ง แต่ทุกปีจะไช้ความพยายามเต็มที่ในการทำขนมเค้กฉลองวันเกิดลูกๆ ดูตัวอย่างได้ที่นี่ค่ะ

I am not a great cook by any stretch of the imagination, but I do my best every year to make a homemade cake for my kids' birthdays. Here are some of the creations I have attempted...

My first ever birthday cake attempt เค้กแรกค่ะ

 Most recent cake... เค้กล่าสุด

 Ice Cream Cake

 Another ice cream cake...

 Ice cream cakes are popular in our house... เค้กไอศกรีมเป็นที่ชื่นชอบในบ้านเรา

 Princess Party

 Butterfly... 

Baby sister blew out the candles before her birthday big sister got a chance... น้องเบาเทียนก่อนพี่มีโอดาส

 Bunny...

Pirate Party! งานโจรสลัด

 Pirate Sisters...

Beach Party - this is supposed to be a shell... งานชายหาด นี่เป็นเค้กรูบหอย

For my Monkey...